Having a lousy morning or afternoon? Things not going as you planned? Not to worry, a few lousy hour can't ruin the entire day if you don't allow it. The rest of your can turn out to be one of the best you have had of recent. Here are some simple steps to help you.
1. Get a sense of proportion.
One of the best phrase to always remember is "This too shall pass" Unless something life-changing has happened (like the death of a loved one), chances are that in two weeks, you'll have forgotten completely about whatever it was that has your shorts in a twist today. Take your mind of the immediate disturbance and focus on the big picture.
2. Remember that the past does not equal the future.
One way to ruin a good day is to keep replaying yesterday's failure. Your future is bright, nothing in your past can be compared to your future. It's a clean sheet that you can write whatsoever you want. So don't use your yesterday's failure to measure your future.
3. Stop confessing "it's a bad day".
If you believe the rest of your day will be as challenging as what's already happened, then rest assured: You'll end up doing something (or saying) something that will make sure that your prediction comes true.
4. Focus on what's going well.
Not everything is going wrong right now, there are dozen of things going right. Take your mind of what isn't going right and focus on what is working. Make a list of the good things in your life and read them over and over again.
5. Expect something wonderful to happen.
Just as an attitude of doom and gloom makes you see more problems, facing the future with a sense of wonder makes you alive to all sorts of wonderful things that are going on, right now, everywhere around you.
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Stuck in the Past? End Obsessive Thoughts and Feelings.
How To Forgive Another
Most people go about forgiveness backwards. They focus in the wrong area and they never are able to forgive another. Here's how to forgive someone the right way.
What happens when you've been wronged by another and you want to move on? How do you let it go - get on with your life - and make sure it doesn't happen again?
The short answer is that you forgive yourself for even having them in your life in the first place - so you don't have to continue to carry the burden around and so that you *don't repeat the same experience* - either with this person or another one.
You forgive yourself for ALLOWING it to happen - not for CAUSING it to happen.
Right now you may be in some sort of a mental prison. There may be a lot of resentment and other similar feelings. And what you're feeling now - the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the hurt; WILL influence your future relationships. Bitterness only leads to more bitterness. Hurt leads to more hurt.
Forgiveness is a way to clear out those old feelings from the past so you will be better able to believe in yourself and trust yourself. Not to mention you will be wiser and more perceptive!
But are you responsible for what they did? No, absolutely not. You don't forgive yourself to make them 'not guilty'.
You created your reality and they created theirs. And the realities overlapped.
A cheater is basically that way before you meet them. A betrayer is a betrayer before they come into your life. And a punisher would just be punishing someone else if you weren't around.
The question is - why did I attract someone like this into my life? Of course you didn't KNOW they would cheat or betray or punish you when you first met them. But then, maybe there were little hints and clues you ignored. I don't know.
The point is, you allowed it to happen, at least on some level. That 'allowing' is your responsibility; something you CAN forgive yourself for.
The value of forgiving yourself is - first of all, it's empowering to accept responsibility for YOUR contribution. Yes, I understand you were wronged. They engaged in hurtful behavior that was unjustified.
By forgiving yourself, you don't say their behavior was acceptable. On some level, they must still 'pay' for what they did. But that's not your business. (I understand many try to make it their business!)
But you would be much more productive by dealing with YOUR contribution to these events. And not worrying about their contribution.
"They'll get theirs."
But look at the damage it does to YOU by not forgiving yourself. Maybe you don't believe in yourself anymore. Maybe you don't trust yourself to make good decisions. Maybe your self-confidence is lacking. Maybe you're carrying around a ton of pain.
And I would guess many other problems as well have come up because you've been wronged. Forgiving yourself can heal the damage they caused. Also, you don't let someone 'off the hook' by forgiving yourself for what they did.
YOU LET *YOU* OFF THE HOOK BY FORGIVING YOURSELF.
Sorry to shout, but I want to make that point clear. By forgiving yourself, you empower yourself. You free yourself from your own private prison of pain.
Here's the bottom line: You can never truly and completely forgive another until you have first forgiven yourself. That's why so many people stay stuck in a lack of forgiveness.
Of course you need to forgive the other person to truly be free yourself.
But it starts with learning how to forgive yourself FIRST.
If you can't forgive yourself, you'll never forgive someone else. Here's how: http://www.forgive-yourself.com
Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard
It is rather easier to feel positive when everything goes well, but real positive thinking is revealed when you can maintain it difficult times. It is then that you need it most.
In difficult times, when there are problems and the economic condition is tough, it is so easy to get into negative thinking and self-pity, and be sucked into a vicious circle of worries, fears and the expectation of more problems, lack of money or poverty.
You may read books and articles on positive thinking, and believe that you are positive, but when difficulties and rough times appear, you just forget everything and focus on the problems and difficulties, instead of believing in yourself, looking for solutions and seeking and seizing opportunities.
If you have no job, no money and the future looks bleak you might:
- Indulge in self-pity and feel bad and helpless.
- Indulge in worries and fears and expect more problems.
- Become resentful and angry at the world and at successful people.
- Be sad and focus on your problems.
Does this attitude help you in anything? No, it will only get you deeper into problems, because when you see and expect problems you create more problems. This is where positive thinking and positive attitude are required. It is true, it is not so easy to reject negative thinking in such circumstances, and even if you try, you might find yourself again and again reverting to negative thinking and dwelling on your problems.
If you have lost your way in a forest, will thoughts about your predicament help you? If you just sit down on a rock, and think and imagine that you will never find your way out help you in any way?
If you have failed, lost money or your job, will thinking how bad your condition is help you find a new job or earn money?
Wherever you are now, whatever your situation is, there is always a way out. This might require a different way of thinking, a different approach or developing new skills. Forget the past, as you cannot change it, but you can change your present, and when you change your present, you also change your future.
Keeping a positive attitude, expecting the best, striving to do the best and refusing to indulge in self-pity, negative thinking and worries is the road to a better and happier life.
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Internal defeat is a mindset, where you begin to believe that most new ideas will fail. You might think -”After all, what I tried in last week's Yoga class, failed.” You will always learn from mistakes. When you see them clearly as a test, examine the results, and study them closely for the reason why they went wrong.
Whether it is a lesson plan, trying mantras, Hot Yoga, Gentle Yoga, a pro shop, or trying anything new, it is better to make mistakes than do nothing at all. Some of the most successful Yoga teachers, I know, deal with mistakes as part of the learning curve. They turn all of their defeats into learning experiences. This is extremely powerful when you consider the cost of learning anything of value.
After all, what did you spend on your education, so far? Did you think you would stop learning at a certain point in life? Did you learn from your past mistakes? Of course you did, and now you are stronger due to the corrective adjustments, you have made.
When a child learns to ride a bicycle, there are plenty of falls along the way, and then the falling stops. However, even skilled adults fall off bicycles, sometimes.
So, don’t take past failures personally. Put them behind you and learn from each one. Henry Ford and the Wright Brothers had failures, but nobody seems to remember that. Just like them, you are not a failure, but you may have failed in the past, just like they did. When you get down on yourself, look back at what you have accomplished.
When you take on your next project, do the research first, assemble a team, make a full commitment to succeed, and never mentally quit before you start.
Lastly, whenever it is possible, learn from the mistakes of others.
Yesterday, I compiled a list of 50 things you should never tell your child. Ever.
But that’s only half of the story. While there are plenty of things you should not say to your child, there are also plenty of things you should tell them on a habitual basis. I’d be remiss to leave out that part of the story.
Most of these are applicable no matter what the age. Whether your children are 2 or 60, you can and should speak them.
Some of them may need to be uniquely suited if your children are older than 2, though. And some (like #19) may not work if you’re a single parent.
50 things you should tell your children
1. I love you.
2. I will always love you.
3. No matter what you do, you’ll always be my child.
4. I love you, but I’m still going to punish you.
5. Yes, I’ll forgive you.
6. Will you forgive me? I messed up.
7. You’re so valuable to me.
8. Let’s go to church.
9. Yes, I’ll drop what I’m doing to play.
10. No, I’m not too busy.
11. You drew that?!? Amazing!
12. I’m proud of you.
13. You slipped up, but you’re still precious to me.
14. Can we talk?
15. Let’s hang out.
16. You don’t have a choice here. You’re 2 years old.
17. You’re safe with me.
18. Yes, I’ll help.
19. You’re not the most important person in my life…your mom (my wife) (or your dad (my husband)) is.
20. Honoring God is always the right choice.
21. Learning to obey mommy and daddy is important.
22. Let’s pray.
23. Let’s go on a date! (dad to daughter, or mom to son)
24. To boys specifically: Never treat your mother with disrespect. Never.
25. To boys specifically: stand up for yourself.
26. To boys specifically: it’s okay to cry.
27. To boys specifically: it’s okay to be dangerous.
28. To boys specifically: being dangerous can leave you hurt. But playing it safe isn’t what men are called to do.
29. To boys specifically: fight for things that are eternally valuable.
30. To boys specifically: stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.
31. To girls specifically: You’re worth far more than rubies.
32. To girls specifically: you’re beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not.
33. To girls specifically: you’re my princess, and you always will be.
34. Love those that nobody else loves.
35. Love others more than you love yourself.
36. Love and respect those who don’t love or respect you.
37. Serve others like your life depended on it.
38. Learn to respect those in authority over you. Life will be much easier if you do.
39. There is no problem so big that you can’t come to me.
40. You’ll never do anything to lose my love.
41. You have so many gifts. Can I help you use them?
42. I will always want what is best for you.
43. It’s okay if you mess up. I mess up, too.
44. No matter where you are or what you’ve done, if something’s wrong, call me. I’ll come running.
45. I don’t care if your friends get to do that. I’m your parent, not theirs.
46. Be a good friend. Others will love you for it.
47. It’s okay to be upset.
48. You can never do anything so bad that God would desert you.
49. You’re a ____ (insert your last name), and ____s (insert your last name again) don’t back down from our convictions.
50. Your mom and dad aren’t perfect. But we love you unconditionally.
50 things you should tell your children is a post from: Life and Theology