Anxious Thinking

Visualization Tool for Ending Anxious Thinking and Intrusive thoughts

Anxiety causes an imbalance in your life whereby all of the mental worry creates a top–heavy sensation. All of your focus is moved from the center of your body to the head. Schools of meditation often like to demonstrate an example of this top–heavy imbalance by showing how easily the body can lose its sense of center.

A student is asked to come to the front of the group and stand with his legs apart. The teacher then asks the student to focus on a personal worry or concern. Once the student is fixated on the worry‚ the teacher quietly moves to the side of the student and tells him he is going to attempt to push him over. The teacher pushes on the student’s shoulder and is able to topple the student with relative ease.

The same student is then asked to forget the worry and focus his attention on a grounding visualization. The teacher once again attempts to topple the student but finds much more resistance than previously. The student is grounded firmly in place. The class is given this demonstration to display how important it is to feel grounded and centered in the present and not continuously caught in mental activity. When caught in mental anxieties‚ a person can feel disconnected from life as they go through life on autopilot.

Beating Anxious Thinking
I am going to teach you a single visualization that is separated into three parts. The purpose of the visualization is to enable you to quickly clear mental stress‚ tension‚ and anxious thinking. The visualization can be used when feeling stressed and is particularly useful when your mind is racing with fearful‚ anxious thinking. There are numerous such visualizations found in different self help courses‚ but I have combined three of the most effective ones and adapted them so that the resultant single visualization can be used literally anywhere.

This visualization process‚ when practiced frequently‚ is very effective for eliminating deep–seated mental anxieties or intrusive thoughts. To gain maximum benefit‚ the exercise must be carried out for longer then 10 minutes at a time‚ as anything shorter will not bring noticeable results. There is no right or wrong way to carry out the visualization. Be intuitive with it and do not feel you are unable to carry it out if you feel you are not very good at seeing mental imagery. As long as your attention is on the exercise‚ you will gain benefit.

It is best to do this exercise in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed‚ and then when you are more practiced you will be able to get the same positive results in a busier environment such as the workplace. You should notice a calming effect on your state of mind along with a sensation of mental release and relaxation.

Okay‚ let’s begin.

Alleviating Anxious Thinking
Either sitting or standing‚ close your eyes and move your attention to your breath. To become aware of your breathing‚ place one hand on your upper chest and one on your stomach. Take a breath and let your stomach swell forward as you breathe in and fall back gently as you breathe out. Take the same depth of breath each time and try to get a steady rhythm going. Your hand on your chest should have little or no movement. Again‚ try to take the same depth of breath each time you breathe in. This is called Diaphragmatic Breathing.

When you feel comfortable with this technique‚ try to slow your breathing rate down by instituting a short pause after you have breathed out and before you breathe in again. Initially‚ it may feel as though you are not getting enough air in‚ but with regular practice this slower rate will soon start to feel comfortable.

It is often helpful to develop a cycle where you count to three when you breathe in‚ pause‚ and then count to three when you breathe out (or 2‚ or 4 — whatever is comfortable for you). This will also help you focus on your breathing without any other thoughts coming into your mind. If you are aware of other thoughts entering your mind‚ just let them go and bring your attention back to counting and breathing. Continue doing this for a few minutes. (If you practice this‚ you will begin to strengthen the Diaphragmatic Muscle‚ and it will start to work normally — leaving you with a nice relaxed feeling all the time.)

Visualization to Counter Anxious Thinking
Now move your attention to your feet. Try to really feel your feet. See if you can feel each toe. Picture the base of your feet and visualize roots growing slowly out through your soles and down into the earth. The roots are growing with quickening pace and are reaching deep into the soil of the earth. You are now rooted firmly to the earth and feel stable like a large oak or redwood tree. Stay with this feeling of grounded safety and security for a few moments.

Once you have created a strong feeling or impression of being grounded like a tree‚ I want you to visualize a cloud of bright light forming way above you. A bolt of lightning from the luminous cloud hits the crown of your head‚ and that ignites a band of bright white light descending slowly from your head all the way down your body‚ over your legs‚ and out past your toes. As the band of light passes over you‚ feel it clearing your mental state. It is illuminating your mind and clearing any rubbish that you may have been thinking about. Repeat this image four or five times until you feel a sense of clearing and release from any anxious thinking.

In finishing‚ see yourself standing under a large‚ luminescent waterfall. The water is radiant and bubbling with vitality and life. As you stand under the waterfall‚ you can feel the water run over every inch of your body‚ soothing you and instilling within you a sense of deep calm. Try to taste the water. Open your mouth and let it run into your mouth‚ refreshing you. Hear it as it bounces off the ground around you. The water is life itself and it is washing away stress and worry from your mind and body.

After a moment‚ open your eyes.

Try to use all of your senses when carrying out the visualization. To make the pictures in your mind as real as possible‚ use your senses of touch‚ taste‚ and hearing. Feel the water trickle down your body; hear the sound it makes as it splashes over you.

The more realistic the imagined scenarios‚ the more benefit you will gain. Many people report very beneficial and soothing results from using these simple visualizations frequently. The mind is much like a muscle in that‚ in order to relax‚ it needs to regularly release what it is holding onto.

By visualizing the different situations‚ you are allowing your mind to release. It is like sending a message to your brain that when you close your eyes and begin this process it is time for letting go of anything that it has been mentally holding onto‚ including anxious thinking. To begin with‚ in order to train your mind how to let go of the stress‚ it is important to practice this daily. With practices‚ you can learn to release all stress within minutes of starting the exercise. I recommend your daily practice take place before going to bed‚ as that will enable you to sleep more soundly.

Many people do not do these visualizations in the bedroom but some other room before going to bed. That way‚ when they enter the bedroom and close the door‚ they are leaving the mental stress and anxious thinking behind them.

Visualization as a tool for dealing with mental stress is very effective. If such visualization is carried out properly‚ you can reach a deep feeling of inner calm. From experience‚ however‚ I do not find visualization work to be sufficient to end a panic or anxiety attack (that is left to the One Move technique which I teach as part of the Panic Away program)‚ but it is a very powerful support tool for ridding yourself of general anxiety sensations.

That concludes the two–pronged approach to dealing with anxious thinking and thoughts.

With practice‚ you find you go days without having anxious thinking interrupt your life‚ and importantly‚ this significantly reduces the level of general anxiety you feel.

The “Panic Away” Program:

Proof At Last that Panic Attacks and Anxiety

Can be Eliminated For Good!

Anxiety and Panic Attack Tips

Anxiety and Panic Attack Tips

I want to share with you some powerful tips for dealing with your anxiety and panic attacks. These anxiety tips form some of the latest teachings used in modern methods for dealing with anxiety.
The tips are:

Diet
Exercise
Distraction
Elimination anxious thoughts
The following tips are divided into separate sections.

Anxiety and Panic Attack Tips
Read up on each of them as they will strengthen your resistance to anxiety and are very easily implemented into your daily routine.

Diet
Firstly we will look at diet and how it can be very beneficial in warding off excessive anxiety. What you are eating today will have an impact on the level of anxiety you experience tomorrow so it is vital to understand what effect your diet is having on you. The more balanced your diet the easier it is for your mind/body relationship to feel strong and secure. There are certain foods that are good at building inner calm and other ones that you need to avoid.

Exercise
The next anxiety tip is exercise‚ which is often overlooked when talking about excessive anxiety and panic attacks. Besides the obvious health and relaxation benefits‚ exercise gives you a sample of what it is like to put your body into an exerted state just as if you were having a panic attack. This way you can learn to become comfortable with the heightened state of exertion without fearing that your body will not be able to handle it. This is an important connection for your mind to make. There are so many benefits to be obtained from regular exercise I hope you invest time to learn more about them.

Distraction
When nervous we all have had the experience of been distracted by something and as a result feeling more at ease but how does that apply to dealing with panic and anxiety. General anxiety is experienced by many people with panic and anxiety disorders. Distraction helps you to retrain your focus and keep your attention on what is going on around you.

Anxious thinking
All people who have ended panic and anxiety in their lives have in some way either intentionally or unintentionally re–trained themselves to think in a positive constructive manner rather than negative spirals of anxious thought. I will demonstrate the most efficient way to dealing with such anxious thoughts. This is one tip you really must learn about.

The “Panic Away” Program:
Proof At Last that Panic Attacks and Anxiety
Can be Eliminated For Good!

Positive Thinking: 5 Simple Ways to Improve a Bad Day.

Having a lousy morning or afternoon? Things not going as you planned? Not to worry, a few lousy hour can't ruin the entire day if you don't allow it. The rest of your can turn out to be one of the best you have had of recent. Here are some simple steps to help you.


1. Get a sense of proportion.


One of the best phrase to always remember is "This too shall pass" Unless something life-changing has happened (like the death of a loved one), chances are that in two weeks, you'll have forgotten completely about whatever it was that has your shorts in a twist today. Take your mind of the immediate disturbance and focus on the big picture.


2. Remember that the past does not equal the future.


One way to ruin a good day is to keep replaying yesterday's failure. Your future is bright, nothing in your past can be compared to your future. It's a clean sheet that you can write whatsoever you want. So don't use your yesterday's failure to measure your future.


3. Stop confessing "it's a bad day".


If you believe the rest of your day will be as challenging as what's already happened, then rest assured: You'll end up doing something (or saying) something that will make sure that your prediction comes true.


4. Focus on what's going well.


Not everything is going wrong right now, there are dozen of things going right. Take your mind of what isn't going right and focus on what is working. Make a list of the good things in your life and read them over and over again.


5. Expect something wonderful to happen.


Just as an attitude of doom and gloom makes you see more problems, facing the future with a sense of wonder makes you alive to all sorts of wonderful things that are going on, right now, everywhere around you.


Like this post? stroll up and join this site and we will send you motivational articles to keep you motivated.

How To Heal The Pain Caused By Someone.

Stuck in the Past? End Obsessive Thoughts and Feelings.

How To Forgive Another

Most people go about forgiveness backwards. They focus in the wrong area and they never are able to forgive another. Here's how to forgive someone the right way.


What happens when you've been wronged by another and you want to move on? How do you let it go - get on with your life - and make sure it doesn't happen again?


The short answer is that you forgive yourself for even having them in your life in the first place - so you don't have to continue to carry the burden around and so that you *don't repeat the same experience* - either with this person or another one.


You forgive yourself for ALLOWING it to happen - not for CAUSING it to happen.


Right now you may be in some sort of a mental prison. There may be a lot of resentment and other similar feelings. And what you're feeling now - the bitterness, the resentment, the anger, the hurt; WILL influence your future relationships. Bitterness only leads to more bitterness. Hurt leads to more hurt.


Forgiveness is a way to clear out those old feelings from the past so you will be better able to believe in yourself and trust yourself. Not to mention you will be wiser and more perceptive!


But are you responsible for what they did? No, absolutely not. You don't forgive yourself to make them 'not guilty'.


You created your reality and they created theirs. And the realities overlapped.


A cheater is basically that way before you meet them. A betrayer is a betrayer before they come into your life. And a punisher would just be punishing someone else if you weren't around.


The question is - why did I attract someone like this into my life? Of course you didn't KNOW they would cheat or betray or punish you when you first met them. But then, maybe there were little hints and clues you ignored. I don't know.


The point is, you allowed it to happen, at least on some level. That 'allowing' is your responsibility; something you CAN forgive yourself for.


The value of forgiving yourself is - first of all, it's empowering to accept responsibility for YOUR contribution. Yes, I understand you were wronged. They engaged in hurtful behavior that was unjustified.


By forgiving yourself, you don't say their behavior was acceptable. On some level, they must still 'pay' for what they did. But that's not your business. (I understand many try to make it their business!)


But you would be much more productive by dealing with YOUR contribution to these events. And not worrying about their contribution.


"They'll get theirs."


But look at the damage it does to YOU by not forgiving yourself. Maybe you don't believe in yourself anymore. Maybe you don't trust yourself to make good decisions. Maybe your self-confidence is lacking. Maybe you're carrying around a ton of pain.


And I would guess many other problems as well have come up because you've been wronged. Forgiving yourself can heal the damage they caused. Also, you don't let someone 'off the hook' by forgiving yourself for what they did.


YOU LET *YOU* OFF THE HOOK BY FORGIVING YOURSELF.


Sorry to shout, but I want to make that point clear. By forgiving yourself, you empower yourself. You free yourself from your own private prison of pain.


Here's the bottom line: You can never truly and completely forgive another until you have first forgiven yourself. That's why so many people stay stuck in a lack of forgiveness.


Of course you need to forgive the other person to truly be free yourself.


But it starts with learning how to forgive yourself FIRST.


If you can't forgive yourself, you'll never forgive someone else. Here's how: http://www.forgive-yourself.com


Mark Ivar Myhre
The Emotional Healing Wizard

Positive Thinking in Difficult Times

It is rather easier to feel positive when everything goes well, but real positive thinking is revealed when you can maintain it difficult times. It is then that you need it most. 

In difficult times, when there are problems and the economic condition is tough, it is so easy to get into negative thinking and self-pity, and be sucked into a vicious circle of worries, fears and the expectation of more problems, lack of money or poverty.

You may read books and articles on positive thinking, and believe that you are positive, but when difficulties and rough times appear, you just forget everything and focus on the problems and difficulties, instead of believing in yourself, looking for solutions and seeking and seizing opportunities.

If you have no job, no money and the future looks bleak you might:

• Indulge in self-pity and feel bad and helpless.
• Indulge in worries and fears and expect more problems.
• Become resentful and angry at the world and at successful people.
• Be sad and focus on your problems.

Does this attitude help you in anything? No, it will only get you deeper into problems, because when you see and expect problems you create more problems. This is where positive thinking and positive attitude are required. It is true, it is not so easy to reject negative thinking in such circumstances, and even if you try, you might find yourself again and again reverting to negative thinking and dwelling on your problems.

If you have lost your way in a forest, will thoughts about your predicament help you? If you just sit down on a rock, and think and imagine that you will never find your way out help you in any way?

If you have failed, lost money or your job, will thinking how bad your condition is help you find a new job or earn money?

Wherever you are now, whatever your situation is, there is always a way out. This might require a different way of thinking, a different approach or developing new skills. Forget the past, as you cannot change it, but you can change your present, and when you change your present, you also change your future.

Keeping a positive attitude, expecting the best, striving to do the best and refusing to indulge in self-pity, negative thinking and worries is the road to a better and happier life.

 Books by Remez Sasson

Peace of Mind in Daily Life Enjoy a state of inner peace in your everyday life, at work, at home, and everywhere. Learn how to gain mental mastery, peace of mind, happiness, and freedom from worries. Details >>   Purchase >>	Emotional Detachment Develop emotional detachment, and enjoy inner balance and peace in your life. Stop taking everything personally and getting upset by what people say and do. Details >>    Purchase >>
Willpower and Self Discipline Exercises and guidance for strengthening your willpower and gaining self discipline. Increase assertiveness and perseverance, and overcome laziness and procrastination. Details >>   Purchase >>	Visualize and Achieve Learn how to use the powers of your mind and imagination to shape your life and achieve dreams and goals. Full guidance for using creative visualization and the law of attraction. Details >>   Purchase >>

Don’t Focus on Failure

Internal defeat is a mindset, where you begin to believe that most new ideas will fail. You might think -”After all, what I tried in last week's Yoga class, failed.” You will always learn from mistakes.  When you see them clearly as a test, examine the results, and study them closely for the reason why they went wrong. 

Whether it is a lesson plan, trying mantras, Hot Yoga, Gentle Yoga, a pro shop, or trying anything new, it is better to make mistakes than do nothing at all.  Some of the most successful Yoga teachers, I know, deal with mistakes as part of the learning curve. They turn all of their defeats into learning experiences. This is extremely powerful when you consider the cost of learning anything of value.


After all, what did you spend on your education, so far? Did you think you would stop learning at a certain point in life? Did you learn from your past mistakes? Of course you did, and now you are stronger due to the corrective adjustments, you have made.


When a child learns to ride a bicycle, there are plenty of falls along the way, and then the falling stops. However, even skilled adults fall off bicycles, sometimes.


So, don’t take past failures personally. Put them behind you and learn from each one.  Henry Ford and the Wright Brothers had failures, but nobody seems to remember that. Just like them, you are not a failure, but you may have failed in the past, just like they did. When you get down on yourself, look back at what you have accomplished. 


When you take on your next project, do the research first, assemble a team, make a full commitment to succeed, and never mentally quit before you start. 


Lastly, whenever it is possible, learn from the mistakes of others. 

50 Things to Never Say to your Children

I’m not a perfect parent. In fact, I’m far from it. I say the wrong things, do the wrong things, and am learning more and more every day.

And I’m not one to judge.

But I heard a mother say something the other day, and it made every bone in my body cringe. She was walking up to the door of a building, texting on her phone, while her young son walked in front of her. I noticed that they stood at the door for 15-20 seconds, and the son hadn’t opened the door yet. He was staring around, noticing the nice day, looking into the building, and…well, not opening the door. Apparently, his mother expected he would have already opened it. So she blurted out, loud enough for everyone to hear,

What is wrong with you?!?

He was stunned. He didn’t cry or yell back or stomp his feet because he was angry. He just stood there and looked up at his mom. Obviously thinking it was ok just to take in the scenery and move at a slower pace, it took him aback when his mom, who was distracted by something on her phone, snapped at him and degraded his very existence. I’m sure that what he heard was

There is something wrong with you…otherwise, you would’ve opened the door already for me!!

And in that moment, I realized that knowing what not to say to your children doesn’t automatically come to you when you have a child. I guess I thought it did. 

So I thought I’d put a list together of things you should never say to your child. Even in jest, these can be damaging to a young mind.

50 Things to Never Say to your Children

1. What’s wrong with you?!?

2. You’ll never amount to anything.

3. I don’t really like you.

4. You’re worthless to me.

5. You’re stupid.

6. I wish you’d never been born.

7. I wish you were more like ____.

8. If you’d just shut up…

9. Stop being loud so I can work…

10. It’s okay to lie a little bit

11. You’re such a disappointment.

12. If you do that again, I’ll hit you.

13. YOU made me this way.

14. YOU caused the problems between your mother and I.

15. You’re dead to me.

16. I don’t love you right now.

17. You’re an idiot.

18. Hard work will never get you anywhere.

19. I hate you.

20. I don’t have time for you.

21. Quit bothering me.

22. Until you fix this problem, I don’t love you.

23. Left up to me, I’d never see you again.

24. You’re not important to me right now.

25. I hate coming to your games.

26. Quit dreaming, that’s never possible.

27. This is your art? It’s awful…

28. Quit being so creative. That’ll never get you anywhere.

29. When you grow up, I hope you’ll be more like your brother/sister.

30. Quit acting like your mother.

31. Your father was a loser, too.

32. If you keep acting like this, your mom and dad might get a divorce.

33. From mother: Don’t listen to your daddy.

34. From dad: Don’t listen to your mother.

35. If you do that again, you’re going to make God not love you anymore.

36. Was it your birthday yesterday?

37. I don’t think I can ever forgive you for what you just did.

38. If you choose to do that, our relationship is over.

39. I’m ashamed to call you my child.

40. Do as I say, not as I do.

41. I know I’m right. There’s nothing you can do or say to convince me otherwise.

42. No, I won’t listen to you.

43. God loves you because you’re good.

44. Go talk to someone else. I’m too busy with work right now.

45. No, I won’t read to you.

46. To boys: real men don’t cry.

47. To girls: don’t cry.

48. You better stop, or I’ll give you something to cry about.

49. Quit being such a little baby.

50. Do what you want, I don’t care.

50 Things to Never Say to your Children is a post from: Life and Theology

Also Read 50 Things You Should Tell Your Children

50 Things You Should Tell Your Children.

Yesterday, I compiled a list of 50 things you should never tell your child. Ever.

But that’s only half of the story. While there are plenty of things you should not say to your child, there are also plenty of things you should tell them on a habitual basis. I’d be remiss to leave out that part of the story.

Most of these are applicable no matter what the age. Whether your children are 2 or 60, you can and should speak them.

Some of them may need to be uniquely suited if your children are older than 2, though. And some (like #19) may not work if you’re a single parent.

50 things you should tell your children

1. I love you.

2. I will always love you.

3. No matter what you do, you’ll always be my child.

4. I love you, but I’m still going to punish you.

5. Yes, I’ll forgive you.

6. Will you forgive me? I messed up.

7. You’re so valuable to me.

8. Let’s go to church.

9. Yes, I’ll drop what I’m doing to play.

10. No, I’m not too busy.

11. You drew that?!? Amazing!

12. I’m proud of you.

13. You slipped up, but you’re still precious to me.

14. Can we talk?

15. Let’s hang out.

16. You don’t have a choice here. You’re 2 years old.

17. You’re safe with me.

18. Yes, I’ll help.

19. You’re not the most important person in my life…your mom (my wife) (or your dad (my husband)) is.

20. Honoring God is always the right choice.

21. Learning to obey mommy and daddy is important.

22. Let’s pray.

23. Let’s go on a date! (dad to daughter, or mom to son)

24. To boys specifically: Never treat your mother with disrespect. Never.

25. To boys specifically: stand up for yourself.

26. To boys specifically: it’s okay to cry.

27. To boys specifically: it’s okay to be dangerous.

28. To boys specifically: being dangerous can leave you hurt. But playing it safe isn’t what men are called to do.

29. To boys specifically: fight for things that are eternally valuable.

30. To boys specifically: stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.

31. To girls specifically: You’re worth far more than rubies.

32. To girls specifically: you’re beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not.

33. To girls specifically: you’re my princess, and you always will be.

34. Love those that nobody else loves.

35. Love others more than you love yourself.

36. Love and respect those who don’t love or respect you.

37. Serve others like your life depended on it.

38. Learn to respect those in authority over you. Life will be much easier if you do.

39. There is no problem so big that you can’t come to me.

40. You’ll never do anything to lose my love.

41. You have so many gifts. Can I help you use them?

42. I will always want what is best for you.

43. It’s okay if you mess up. I mess up, too.

44. No matter where you are or what you’ve done, if something’s wrong, call me. I’ll come running.

45. I don’t care if your friends get to do that. I’m your parent, not theirs.

46. Be a good friend. Others will love you for it.

47. It’s okay to be upset.

48. You can never do anything so bad that God would desert you.

49. You’re a ____ (insert your last name), and ____s (insert your last name again) don’t back down from our convictions.

50. Your mom and dad aren’t perfect. But we love you unconditionally.

50 things you should tell your children is a post from: Life and Theology

How Do You Raise Happy Kids?

As a grandmother and self-help writer, I’m often asked by readers, “How do you raise happy kids?” This is a question near and dear to every loving parent’s heart. No matter what we teach them, if we haven’t taught them how to be happy, or can’t parent in a way that makes them feel happy, it’s rather all for naught, isn’t it? So it’s a very pertinent question.

I’ve been blessed with having two happy children and two happy grandchildren. I applied certain principles in raising my kids, and see my son and daughter-in-law apply the same in raising their adorable daughters, Klara and Stina. In this article, I’ll share two tips I’ve learned along the way.

The first is the importance of modeling happiness. You can’t give something you don’t have. How can you teach kids happiness if you don’t have it yourself? Some parents think loving their family means living only for them, driving them everywhere, cleaning up after them, and putting their kids’ needs and desires way ahead of their own. Parenting shouldn’t turn us into a short-order restaurant or a cleaning or taxi service. It does for some parents. That teaches kids a bad lesson.

A child who perceives his parent as a servant, someone whose life has meaning only through catering to his whims, learns to be selfish. He comes to believe others exist to do his bidding. I have a friend who was raised like that, and she tells me when she grew up, she kept having the strange feeling, “Where are all the servants?” Being catered to was such an ingrained part of her childhood that adjusting to adulthood was difficult for her, because “the servants” were missing. 

Kids who are raised this way tend to feel the world owes them a living. So breaking out of the “doormat” mode, if you’re in one, is pretty central to giving your kid a chance at a smooth transition to happy adulthood. 

When you take care of yourself, make time for yourself, and do things that make you happy, your child learns those behaviors from you. If she sees you going for your dreams and making decisions based on your inner truth, she learns that doing those things is good. On the other hand, if you model dropping everything to fulfill her latest dictate, she learns that parenting means self-denial and victimization. She may then become a self-effacing parent herself or go the other extreme and forego parenting entirely because it looks like such a sacrifice.

So to raise happy kids, be good to yourself. Treat yourself with respect and dignity the same as you treat your child. Don’t allow disrespect toward you any more than you’d allow someone to be rude to your kids. Make time for your creative desires and dreams. Plan in some scheduled personal time each week (or day), and make sure that you take it. 

Let your kids see you’re doing this, and tell them the reason: “Mommy needs to have some fun, too,” or “Moms need time every day to relax.” This shows your child that you value yourself, and that personal time is important to everyone’s happiness.

The second tip I’ve learned for raising happy kids is the tremendous value of focused attention. The best form this can take is uninterrupted, one-on-one personal time with your child. Think back to your own childhood and some of your happiest memories. Chances are they include that hike you took with Dad, or the time you and Mom went to the restaurant for a dessert. 

When we set aside an hour or two to be with our child, away from distractions and interruptions, we tell him he is important and loved. Giving focused attention is much more powerful than the diffused attention kids get while we cook dinner, drive them somewhere, or break up conversations to take calls on our cell phone. 

Children thrive on loving, focused, personal attention the way plants thrive on sunshine. Structure in some focused attention every day, even if it’s only for five or ten minutes. Look at your child when he talks to you, so he knows you’re completely with him. In love, it’s the subtle things that count.

Giving focused attention teaches self-worth: your child knows she’s valuable because you value her, enough to carve out time for you and her, uninterrupted by the world, for those moments. That spells love, and when she knows you love her, by your actions not your words, that brings security and heart fulfillment, essential foundations of happiness.

In this busy world where parents work two jobs and where kids’ social calendars can rival those of debutants, it isn’t easy to make time to take care of yourself and uninterrupted time for you and your child. But for happiness, nothing could be more important. Think about your schedule, what is nonessential that you can cut out, or wasted moments that you can eliminate. Use that harvested time to be good to you and your kid. Your child’s happiness, and yours, depend on it. 

Share these books and activities to bring you and your child together for an experience both will remember forever.

Winsome Coutts holds a teacher’s certificate in education and has written hundreds of articles on self-development. She has studied with Bob Proctor and John Demartini, popular teachers featured on “The Secret” DVD. She is the passion behind the www.4lifehappykids.com and is a parent and grandparent. 

Winsome is author of “Go for Your Goals” for kids – a set of downloadable e-books that guide your child through the joyful steps of learning visualization, goal-setting and the Law of Attraction. Simple language enhanced with beautiful illustrations and worksheets make these books appealing and motivating. To learn more, visit www.4lifehappykids.com

The work-life balance

Balance. It's a nice word but the reality is hard to pin down. It may not even put us on the right track in our 21st century quest for fulfillment and happiness. In this article we will talk about the integration of work and family life, beginning not with the workplace and the employer's role in sorting things out, but with the person and her priorities.


Generally than people talk about work-life balance they mean the challenge of managing their family commitment when they've got children, while juggling the demands of a career. That's the traditional focus, but the concept has evolved quite a bit. There are now many younger people in the workforce, in their late 20s and early 30s, who may not even have home or family but they want a sense of balance in their life.


Often we are thinking of some sort of perfection, where nothing is out of place, there's no stress, and this of course is unrealistic. It automatically means a trade-off between work and life. If I give more time to my family I won't be able to do my job properly, or if I spend more time on the job my family will suffer. Yet I want to be able to have it all, to do it all, right now.


Let's think about integration, which means bringing the various pieces of our lives into a cohesive whole. We each have many roles, goals, responsibilities and life plans. We have to get it together. The attractive idea of finding ways to bring life into a unity will give us the harmony and happiness we seek.


Experience shows what people who have very clear priorities and their own clear definition of success succeed best at balancing their lives. They know what's most important in their lives. These are people who can say, before it happens: If I have to make a choice, if work and family come head to head, I know what my biggest priority is. People who realize it may have slow their career for a period of time, perhaps while a child is younger, and have a less demanding job so they can have more time at home. And they can be at peace with that, because their definition of success is not necessarily the one that society tells them.


Usually we have to just go through life and let the new promotion or the new demands of the job dictate what you do, to feel you don't have a choice. This is not balanced life road. We need to stop and reflect, communicate more with your husband, your wife, your manager at work, and basically be more pro-active.


The today's truth is that we have too much to do. Technology has changed things and made people accessible 24 hours a day, encroaching on the peaceful time people used to have. Yet some things don't change. We still have 24 hours a day. We all have the same amount of time and how we use it comes down to a personal choice. 


The disorganization traits usually come from avoiding the choice and try to do too much. Even a simple thing like, What are we going to have for dinner tonight? can become a huge job if we feel, Oh, I've a lot of work and will not be able to do grocery shopping. Obviously, if we have the knowledge and skills to make something simpler than we're going to gain more time. This is what AcePlanner is built on - using good systems to simplify daily tasks so you don't spend inordinate amounts of time on work.


For balanced life planning and other basic management skills have to be used at home as well as in the workplace. One of the reasons why many people prefer going out to work to working at home is what we're very organized in the workplace, we use time management there, and then we come home and just ride the waves, consuming ourselves with the latest problem that has cropped up.


However there's nothing wrong with wanting to go out to work. We do need multiple interests to enrich our lives and many times we have talents that we need to give to the workplace and to the world. But it is true that work on the job is often more attractive because it is more project-oriented and very linear, and at the end of that piece of work we get the praise and a sense of accomplishment, whereas at home every day it's the same thing.


Human beings have certain basic needs that have to be taken care of every day, and although we can feel a sense of accomplishment that we have organized something at home, it's soon going to be dirtied again, or another meal is going to have to be put on the table. And this means changing your sense of where you get your satisfaction - not just from accomplishing the task or from the process of doing it, but from the motive.


We are all expecting a reward or praise for completed work. Lack of reward will kill our desire to work what leads to reduced productivity. This is why we prefer working for others than doing something for ourselves. Promise yourself a reward for completing each task or finishing the total job. For example let yourself watch an interesting movie when you finish developing page or new promotion plan.

Self Improvement Advice And Free Tips

I am sure that I am not alone in the fact that I have a large army of demons in my head. These demons are always talking to me and trying to advise me about how to react to different situations. For many years I listened and took their advice, these years were not exactly happy ones and I have now come to realise that these demons are not my friends but are actually my enemy.


I had many issues in my life that had a negative affect on my levels of self-esteem. The demons used these issues to get to me and to play their mind games. For this article, I am going to describe my stuttering demons and how I eventually destroyed them. The advice can be used for whatever type of demon you may have.


At the age of four, I developed a stutter which would continue to affect my speech for the next eighteen years of my life. I was aware of what I could and could not say and was also aware of the social situations in which I was more likely to stutter.

If I was asked a question by for example a friend, I would think of the answer but before I would have a chance to say it, a voice would appear. This voice or what I call my demons would advise me not to say that word and to substitute it for a different word. 


If I was invited out to say a party, my demons would advise me not to go, as there would be a lot of people there that I did not know. They would remind me that I found it difficult talking to people which I did not know.


At one stage in my life, I decided that I wanted a career change as I was not happy in the role that I was in. My demons reminded me, that to find alternative employment meant going through the whole interview process again. They continued that I had always struggled to talk fluently at interviews, due to the pressure factor.


I would be able to speak quite well when I was drunk and this is when I would have the confidence to talk to the ladies. On several occasions a woman has given me their phone number and I would tell them that I would call them to arrange a night out. The next day though, when sober, the demons would remind me that making a phone call is what I find the hardest form of speech task and to simply not bother.


As previously stated, I used to listen to these demons and suffice it to say I did not go on my first date until I was eighteen years of age.


Things had to and were about to change. After reading many self-help books, I realised what I had been doing wrong. I should not be listening to these demons, in fact what I need to do is the opposite of what they tell me. Steve don't go to that party, OK then I will. Steve don't phone that lady up, OK I will, etc.


I am not trying to say that this is easy to do. I am happy to say that I have eradicated my speech demons and am now fluent, however I do still have demons in other areas of my life. There are not nearly as many as there have been in the past and I am slowly hopefully killing them all.


I treat it like a war. There are many battles and I have to say that I do not win them all. I talk to my demons all the time and especially when they win one of these type battles. I tell them that they may have won this particular battle but that I will win the overall war. 


You may possibly think that I am a bit of a freak after reading this article. I frankly do not care, I am happier now than I have ever been. 


Good luck in your quest to improve your own life.