How Do You Raise Happy Kids?

As a grandmother and self-help writer, I’m often asked by readers, “How do you raise happy kids?” This is a question near and dear to every loving parent’s heart. No matter what we teach them, if we haven’t taught them how to be happy, or can’t parent in a way that makes them feel happy, it’s rather all for naught, isn’t it? So it’s a very pertinent question.

I’ve been blessed with having two happy children and two happy grandchildren. I applied certain principles in raising my kids, and see my son and daughter-in-law apply the same in raising their adorable daughters, Klara and Stina. In this article, I’ll share two tips I’ve learned along the way.

The first is the importance of modeling happiness. You can’t give something you don’t have. How can you teach kids happiness if you don’t have it yourself? Some parents think loving their family means living only for them, driving them everywhere, cleaning up after them, and putting their kids’ needs and desires way ahead of their own. Parenting shouldn’t turn us into a short-order restaurant or a cleaning or taxi service. It does for some parents. That teaches kids a bad lesson.

A child who perceives his parent as a servant, someone whose life has meaning only through catering to his whims, learns to be selfish. He comes to believe others exist to do his bidding. I have a friend who was raised like that, and she tells me when she grew up, she kept having the strange feeling, “Where are all the servants?” Being catered to was such an ingrained part of her childhood that adjusting to adulthood was difficult for her, because “the servants” were missing. 

Kids who are raised this way tend to feel the world owes them a living. So breaking out of the “doormat” mode, if you’re in one, is pretty central to giving your kid a chance at a smooth transition to happy adulthood. 

When you take care of yourself, make time for yourself, and do things that make you happy, your child learns those behaviors from you. If she sees you going for your dreams and making decisions based on your inner truth, she learns that doing those things is good. On the other hand, if you model dropping everything to fulfill her latest dictate, she learns that parenting means self-denial and victimization. She may then become a self-effacing parent herself or go the other extreme and forego parenting entirely because it looks like such a sacrifice.

So to raise happy kids, be good to yourself. Treat yourself with respect and dignity the same as you treat your child. Don’t allow disrespect toward you any more than you’d allow someone to be rude to your kids. Make time for your creative desires and dreams. Plan in some scheduled personal time each week (or day), and make sure that you take it. 

Let your kids see you’re doing this, and tell them the reason: “Mommy needs to have some fun, too,” or “Moms need time every day to relax.” This shows your child that you value yourself, and that personal time is important to everyone’s happiness.

The second tip I’ve learned for raising happy kids is the tremendous value of focused attention. The best form this can take is uninterrupted, one-on-one personal time with your child. Think back to your own childhood and some of your happiest memories. Chances are they include that hike you took with Dad, or the time you and Mom went to the restaurant for a dessert. 

When we set aside an hour or two to be with our child, away from distractions and interruptions, we tell him he is important and loved. Giving focused attention is much more powerful than the diffused attention kids get while we cook dinner, drive them somewhere, or break up conversations to take calls on our cell phone. 

Children thrive on loving, focused, personal attention the way plants thrive on sunshine. Structure in some focused attention every day, even if it’s only for five or ten minutes. Look at your child when he talks to you, so he knows you’re completely with him. In love, it’s the subtle things that count.

Giving focused attention teaches self-worth: your child knows she’s valuable because you value her, enough to carve out time for you and her, uninterrupted by the world, for those moments. That spells love, and when she knows you love her, by your actions not your words, that brings security and heart fulfillment, essential foundations of happiness.

In this busy world where parents work two jobs and where kids’ social calendars can rival those of debutants, it isn’t easy to make time to take care of yourself and uninterrupted time for you and your child. But for happiness, nothing could be more important. Think about your schedule, what is nonessential that you can cut out, or wasted moments that you can eliminate. Use that harvested time to be good to you and your kid. Your child’s happiness, and yours, depend on it. 

Share these books and activities to bring you and your child together for an experience both will remember forever.

Winsome Coutts holds a teacher’s certificate in education and has written hundreds of articles on self-development. She has studied with Bob Proctor and John Demartini, popular teachers featured on “The Secret” DVD. She is the passion behind the www.4lifehappykids.com and is a parent and grandparent. 

Winsome is author of “Go for Your Goals” for kids – a set of downloadable e-books that guide your child through the joyful steps of learning visualization, goal-setting and the Law of Attraction. Simple language enhanced with beautiful illustrations and worksheets make these books appealing and motivating. To learn more, visit www.4lifehappykids.com

The work-life balance

Balance. It's a nice word but the reality is hard to pin down. It may not even put us on the right track in our 21st century quest for fulfillment and happiness. In this article we will talk about the integration of work and family life, beginning not with the workplace and the employer's role in sorting things out, but with the person and her priorities.


Generally than people talk about work-life balance they mean the challenge of managing their family commitment when they've got children, while juggling the demands of a career. That's the traditional focus, but the concept has evolved quite a bit. There are now many younger people in the workforce, in their late 20s and early 30s, who may not even have home or family but they want a sense of balance in their life.


Often we are thinking of some sort of perfection, where nothing is out of place, there's no stress, and this of course is unrealistic. It automatically means a trade-off between work and life. If I give more time to my family I won't be able to do my job properly, or if I spend more time on the job my family will suffer. Yet I want to be able to have it all, to do it all, right now.


Let's think about integration, which means bringing the various pieces of our lives into a cohesive whole. We each have many roles, goals, responsibilities and life plans. We have to get it together. The attractive idea of finding ways to bring life into a unity will give us the harmony and happiness we seek.


Experience shows what people who have very clear priorities and their own clear definition of success succeed best at balancing their lives. They know what's most important in their lives. These are people who can say, before it happens: If I have to make a choice, if work and family come head to head, I know what my biggest priority is. People who realize it may have slow their career for a period of time, perhaps while a child is younger, and have a less demanding job so they can have more time at home. And they can be at peace with that, because their definition of success is not necessarily the one that society tells them.


Usually we have to just go through life and let the new promotion or the new demands of the job dictate what you do, to feel you don't have a choice. This is not balanced life road. We need to stop and reflect, communicate more with your husband, your wife, your manager at work, and basically be more pro-active.


The today's truth is that we have too much to do. Technology has changed things and made people accessible 24 hours a day, encroaching on the peaceful time people used to have. Yet some things don't change. We still have 24 hours a day. We all have the same amount of time and how we use it comes down to a personal choice. 


The disorganization traits usually come from avoiding the choice and try to do too much. Even a simple thing like, What are we going to have for dinner tonight? can become a huge job if we feel, Oh, I've a lot of work and will not be able to do grocery shopping. Obviously, if we have the knowledge and skills to make something simpler than we're going to gain more time. This is what AcePlanner is built on - using good systems to simplify daily tasks so you don't spend inordinate amounts of time on work.


For balanced life planning and other basic management skills have to be used at home as well as in the workplace. One of the reasons why many people prefer going out to work to working at home is what we're very organized in the workplace, we use time management there, and then we come home and just ride the waves, consuming ourselves with the latest problem that has cropped up.


However there's nothing wrong with wanting to go out to work. We do need multiple interests to enrich our lives and many times we have talents that we need to give to the workplace and to the world. But it is true that work on the job is often more attractive because it is more project-oriented and very linear, and at the end of that piece of work we get the praise and a sense of accomplishment, whereas at home every day it's the same thing.


Human beings have certain basic needs that have to be taken care of every day, and although we can feel a sense of accomplishment that we have organized something at home, it's soon going to be dirtied again, or another meal is going to have to be put on the table. And this means changing your sense of where you get your satisfaction - not just from accomplishing the task or from the process of doing it, but from the motive.


We are all expecting a reward or praise for completed work. Lack of reward will kill our desire to work what leads to reduced productivity. This is why we prefer working for others than doing something for ourselves. Promise yourself a reward for completing each task or finishing the total job. For example let yourself watch an interesting movie when you finish developing page or new promotion plan.

Self Improvement Advice And Free Tips

I am sure that I am not alone in the fact that I have a large army of demons in my head. These demons are always talking to me and trying to advise me about how to react to different situations. For many years I listened and took their advice, these years were not exactly happy ones and I have now come to realise that these demons are not my friends but are actually my enemy.


I had many issues in my life that had a negative affect on my levels of self-esteem. The demons used these issues to get to me and to play their mind games. For this article, I am going to describe my stuttering demons and how I eventually destroyed them. The advice can be used for whatever type of demon you may have.


At the age of four, I developed a stutter which would continue to affect my speech for the next eighteen years of my life. I was aware of what I could and could not say and was also aware of the social situations in which I was more likely to stutter.

If I was asked a question by for example a friend, I would think of the answer but before I would have a chance to say it, a voice would appear. This voice or what I call my demons would advise me not to say that word and to substitute it for a different word. 


If I was invited out to say a party, my demons would advise me not to go, as there would be a lot of people there that I did not know. They would remind me that I found it difficult talking to people which I did not know.


At one stage in my life, I decided that I wanted a career change as I was not happy in the role that I was in. My demons reminded me, that to find alternative employment meant going through the whole interview process again. They continued that I had always struggled to talk fluently at interviews, due to the pressure factor.


I would be able to speak quite well when I was drunk and this is when I would have the confidence to talk to the ladies. On several occasions a woman has given me their phone number and I would tell them that I would call them to arrange a night out. The next day though, when sober, the demons would remind me that making a phone call is what I find the hardest form of speech task and to simply not bother.


As previously stated, I used to listen to these demons and suffice it to say I did not go on my first date until I was eighteen years of age.


Things had to and were about to change. After reading many self-help books, I realised what I had been doing wrong. I should not be listening to these demons, in fact what I need to do is the opposite of what they tell me. Steve don't go to that party, OK then I will. Steve don't phone that lady up, OK I will, etc.


I am not trying to say that this is easy to do. I am happy to say that I have eradicated my speech demons and am now fluent, however I do still have demons in other areas of my life. There are not nearly as many as there have been in the past and I am slowly hopefully killing them all.


I treat it like a war. There are many battles and I have to say that I do not win them all. I talk to my demons all the time and especially when they win one of these type battles. I tell them that they may have won this particular battle but that I will win the overall war. 


You may possibly think that I am a bit of a freak after reading this article. I frankly do not care, I am happier now than I have ever been. 


Good luck in your quest to improve your own life.

When One Door Closes Another Door Opens

“When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
- Alexander Graham Bell -

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us.”
- Helen Keller -

These two quotes are so true! Read them again, they both say:

When one door closes another door opens.

Most people are too attached to the past, to what they are familiar with, and therefore, miss opportunities that stand right in front of them. Doors may close, but there are always other unlimited number of doors – new opportunities. The world is full of opportunities, if we could only see them. The Infinite Power is boundless, and so the possibilities are without number.

Not every plan works out. There are losses and failures, there are problems in relationships, loss of money or job, and sometimes unpleasant things happen. We don’t always have control over these happenings, but we can exercise control over our attention and attitude. When one of these things happens, and we focus our attention on the loss – the closed door, we see only a closed door with the resultant frustration and unhappiness, but if we could only move our sight and attention away from the closed door, we might be surprised to discover a row of open new doors.

It might not be so easy to move our eyes elsewhere, due to various reasons, such as attachment to the old and familiar, and fear of the new and the unknown.

Many find it difficult to stop their stream of controlled thoughts, and consequently, their mind keeps focusing on the loss, failure, and frustration – the door that has closed. Will these thoughts help in anything, except of creating suffering and preventing any change and improvement?

You might agree with what is being said here, but how can you free yourself past attachments and see new opportunities? How can you bring yourself to see, and enter the new doors that open for you?

This might need some effort on your part:

• You will need to be more aware of your thoughts.
• Desire to free yourself from thoughts that keep you stuck in one place.
• Develop some degree of self-discipline.
• Develop some concentration ability and control over your mind.
• Take advantage of the power of affirmations and visualization.
• Some degree of inner peace is also required, since inner peace helps you reject unwanted, negative thoughts, and become more open-minded, positive and happy. When you experience inner peace, it would be easier for you to detach yourself from the past, keep an open mind, and therefore see more clearly the new doors that open for you.

Don’t forget, when one door closes another one opens.

                                     Books by Remez Sasson

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How To Get Over Shyness - The One Mistake Most Shy People Make

Do you really want to know how to get rid of shyness? Are you prepared to forget everything you thought you knew about being less shy and replace it with the truth? Then read on.

The one biggest mistake I see shy people making is being controlled by their emotions. Nearly all shy people make this basic mistake.

• If you avoid people who make you feel shy, then you are being controlled by your emotions.
• If you avoid public speaking because it makes you feel anxious, you are being controlled by your emotions.
• If you don't do something just because it makes you feel nervous or afraid, then you are being controlled by your emotions.

I hate to repeat myself, but this is an absolutely essential point. In order to get over your shyness, you have to become less controlled by your emotions. This doesn't mean to suppress your emotions, it simply means to act in spite of them. Mark Twain was the one who said "Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it."

That is the ability you need to build if you want to overcome your shyness. You have to have the ability to act in spite of feeling a certain emotion. This means that if you feel afraid to do something, you do it anyway. Act in spite of fear.

• If you raise your hand in class even though it makes you nervous, you are acting in spite of fear.
• If you talk to people even though they make you feel shy, then you're no longer being controlled by your emotions.
• If you talk to groups and make public presentations, then you are the one in charge now, not your fear.

Once you start acting in spite of fear, you will become more relaxed and easygoing in situations which used to make you nervous and shy. When you stop avoiding your fears, you allow your mind to desensitize to them. In psychology, this is also called habituation.

This approach is very common for therapists to use on someone with social anxiety. In cognitive-behavioral therapy, the "behavioral" part is acting in spite of fear. Of course, many shy people can't or are not able to simply "face their fears."

This is why changes to your thinking are also a necessary part of getting over shyness. That's the cognitive part of cognitive-behavioral therapy.

If you want to learn proven strategies and techniques for overcoming shyness that go far beyond "face your fears" and "what's the worst that can happen ", then you need my book how to overcome shyness.

Tips for Happiness in Daily Life

Daily life can be made happier. It is a matter of choice. It is our attitude that makes us feel happy or unhappy. It is true, we meet all kinds of situations during the day, and some of them may not be conductive to happiness. We can choose to keep thinking about the unhappy events, and we can choose to refuse to think about them, and instead, relish the happy moments. All of us constantly go through various situations and circumstances, but we do not have to let them influence our reactions and feelings.

If we let outer events influence our moods, we become their slaves. We lose our freedom. We let our happiness be determined by outer forces. On the other hand, we can free ourselves from outer influences. We can choose to be happy, and we can do a lot to add happiness to our lives.

What is happiness? It is a feeling of inner peace and satisfaction. It is usually experienced when there are no worries, fears or obsessing thoughts, and this usually happens, when we do something we love to do or when we get, win, gain or achieve something that we value. It seems to be the outcome of positive events, but it actually comes from the inside, triggered by outer events.

For most people, happiness seems fleeting and temporary, because they allow external circumstances to affect it. One of the best ways to keep it, is by gaining inner peace through daily meditation. As the mind becomes more peaceful, it becomes easier to choose the happiness habit.

Here are a few tips for increasing happiness in daily life:


1) Endeavor to change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side. The mind may drag you to think about negativity and difficulties. Don't let it. Look at the good and positive side of every situation.

2) Think of solutions, not problems.

3) Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.

4) Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.

5) Each day, devote some time to reading a few pages of an inspiring book or article.

6) Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start thinking of pleasant things.

7) Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven't. Sometimes you may begin the day with the desire to accomplish several objectives. At the end of the day you might feel frustrated and unhappy, because you haven't been able to do all of those things.

Look at what you have done, not at what you have not been able to do. You may have accomplished a lot during the day, and yet you let yourself become frustrated, because of some small things that you did not accomplish. You have spent all day successfully carrying out many plans, and instead of feeling happy and satisfied, you look at what was not accomplished and feel unhappy. It is unfair toward yourself.

8) Each day do something good for yourself. It can be something small, such buying a book, eating something you love, watching you favorite program on TV, going to a movie, or just having a stroll on the beach.

9) Each day do at least one act to make others happy. This can be a kind word, helping your colleagues, stopping your car at the crossroad to let people cross, giving your seat in a bus to someone else, or giving a small present to someone you love. The possibilities are infinite. When you make someone happy, you become happy, and then people try to make you happy.

10) Always expect happiness.

11) Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.

12) Associate with happy people, and try to learn from them to be happy. Remember, happiness is contagious.

13) Do your best to stay detached, when things do not proceed as intended and desired. Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions. Detachment is not indifference. It is the acceptance of the good and the bad and staying balanced. Detachment has much to do with inner peace, and inner peace is conductive to happiness.

14) Smile more often.



Peace of Mind in Daily Life   by Remez Sasson

Learn how to quiet the endless chatter of your mind.

Techniques and guidance to teach you how to switch off the endless flow of useless and disturbing thoughts in your mind, get rid of negative thoughts and worries, and live and act with a sense of inner peace and happiness in your everyday life.

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You Can Improve Your Life

How many times have you told yourself that you are going to improve your life, but ended doing nothing? How many times have been dissatisfied with some aspects of your life and vowed to change them, but did not follow through with your decision? What is holding you back, preventing you from improving your life? It is lack of enthusiasm, motivation, desire, determination, willpower and discipline.

Often, especially at the beginning of a new year, people make all kinds of promises to start making changes in their life. This also happens after a reading a book or an article about someone who has attained success or transformed his life. However, the desire to make improvements does not last long, and the enthusiasm quickly wanes away.

So, is it really possible to make positive changes? Yes, it is quite possible, but you have to have a plan, follow certain strategies and act in a certain way.

How can you improve your life?

1. Decide what it is you want to improve. Be specific. Sit down where you can be alone and undisturbed, and make a list of goals. Next, analyze what you have written, to find out whether you really want to achieve the items on your list. You will most probably discover that you don't really want to achieve some of these goals.

2. Write down on another piece of paper the items left in your list, which you really want to achieve. Write them down in the order of their importance for you.

3. Think about a plan, how you can make them come true. Be as practical as possible and use your common sense, intuition, imagination and creativity.

4. Come up with something, even quite minor that you can do right now, such as buying a book with information about your goal, attending a lecture, listening to motivating CDs, looking for courses or workshops that can help you improve your life, or any other step that will take you closer to achieving your goal.

5. Read inspiring books and articles about people who have attained success in the area of your choice. This will enhance your enthusiasm and motivation.

6. Visualize the improvements you want to bring about, as already real and true. Make the mental pictures vivid and alive.

7. Keep your desire, enthusiasm and motivation alive, by thinking often of how you would like your life to look like. Also, think often about the benefits and advantages you will gain by improving your life.

8. Repeat affirmations. They will constantly remind you of your goals and program your subconscious mind to assist you in achieving your aims.

9. Don't let anything deter you from improving your life. Don't give in if there are obstacles, delays or difficulties. Be determined to do what you have decided to do, no matter how much time or effort it takes. This is the way successful people act.

10. Developing strong willpower and self-discipline will endow you with the power to overcome any obstacle and difficulty and make you persistent in your efforts. These two skills can be developed through special techniques and exercises.

11. Have faith in yourself and in your ability to improve your life, you financial condition, your habits and your behavior.

12. Be willing and open to accept change. Don't just say that you want to improve your life. This is not enough. Take action, grab opportunities, and be willing to change your habits and lifestyle.

Remember, making resolutions is not enough; you need to do something about them. If you made resolutions in the past, but did not follow them through, it was because you were not serious enough and your desire was not strong enough.

You can improve your life on all levels, but you need to follow a plan, keep up your enthusiasm, desire and motivation, and don't give in when confronting difficulties and obstacles. It might take some time and effort to improve your life, but this is worthwhile and rewarding goal.

How To Handle Stress

Each one of us will face some pretty trying times during our life, it’s a part of being human. Life has its ups and downs and when the downs come, it is so important to know how to handle stress effectively so you can deal with the events without entering into a harrowing episode of stress, anxiety or depression. 

One of best stress management skills you can acquire is to focus on the aspects of your life that you can control and influence instead of focusing on things you cannot. This is an especially important skill to have during economic downturns such as the current one. A good way to apply the skill is to concentrate on your two main priorities: Paying the rent or the mortgage and putting food on the table. Everything else is secondary to these and can wait until the economy recovers. 

Knowing how to handle stress effectively means being continually aware that there is always a solution. If you're having problems with debt, get help. Write to lenders to inform them of the situation and ask them for help. There are organisations that will help you too and use the Internet to inform yourself and to find as much help as you can.  

Keeping your concerns and problems to yourself certainly isn’t a good way to manage stress as this will only result in greater stress and will make finding solutions to problems so much harder. Talk about the situation with your partner or your family or even a close friend so you get different perspectives. Denial, hoping problems will solve themselves or believing that you can do it all by yourself fuels stress and the problems just get worse. Before you know it you'll be trapped in a harrowing stress loop that is so very difficult to break out of and your physical and mental health will take a huge hit. 

At the root of stress is fear. A good way to deal with fear is to write down exactly what it is that you are worried about. List them all: Job loss, reduced income, losing your home, servicing debts, paying bills, dealing with unwanted change. Get it all down on paper. Talk with your spouse, or with your family or a trusted friend. All of these will help you learn how to handle stress and lessen the burden.  

Asking questions will also help to bring in perspective so you avoid assigning negative and worst-outcome meanings. One of the best questions to ask is: 

What are the chances of this actually happening? 

This leads to another great question:  

What can I do to prevent it from happening and what can I do should it happen?  

Draw up a list of actions and solutions you can take to minimise the effects. Can you cut down on non-essentials, can you reduce spending, can you do something better, cheaper, more efficiently? Can you see the situation as an opportunity to make improvements to your life instead of a life-crisis? The more solutions and meanings you can assign to what's going on the less emotionally aroused you will feel, the less fearful you will feel and you’ll keep stress firmly at bay as well as keeping yourself healthy which will also ensure you don't incur additional expenses for medical care.  

It's also important to know where can you go for help and support, and make sure you involve your family. Be prepared for any outcome and you will not fear it.  

You have some really powerful skills and you now know how to handle stress effectively. Put your knowledge to work and you will soon feel less stressed without a doubt. 

Discover how to handle stress, anxiety and depression quickly, naturally and permanently so you enjoy a brighter, happier future Click Here Now

Developing Your Inner Strength

How many times have you wished you had more inner strength, willpower or self discipline?

How many times you lacked enough persistence and inner stamina to follow your decisions and plans?

Do you admire and respect strong individuals, who have overcome obstacles and difficulties and reached far, because of the inner strength they possessed?

Most people are not are not born with inner strength, but it can be developed like any other skill.

Inner strength consists of willpower, self discipline, self control, persistence, detachment, the ability to concentrate and peace of mind. In this article we will focus on two of the ingredients, willpower and self discipline. These skills are important and essential tools for success in all areas of life. They can be learned and developed like any other skill, yet, in spite of this, only few take any steps to develop and strengthen them in a systematic way.

Willpower is the inner strength to make decisions, take action, and handle and execute any aim or task, regardless of inner and outer resistance, discomfort or difficulties. It manifests as the ability to overcomes laziness, temptations and negative habits, and to carry out actions, even if they require effort, are unpleasant and tedious or are contrary to one's habits.

Self discipline is the ability to reject instant gratification or pleasure in favor of something better or a higher goal. It manifests as the inner strength to stick to actions or plans in spite of obstacles, difficulties or unpleasantness. It is one of the pillars of success, and bestows the inner strength to direct your energy and attention to your goal, and persevere until it is accomplished.

Both of these skills are required for the efficient handling of all activities and decisions. They are required for doing a good job, for success in business, for studying, losing weight, exercising, maintaining good relationships, changing habits, self improvement, meditation, spiritual growth, keeping promises and for almost everything else.

There are simple and effective methods for developing these powers and attaining inner strength:

1. Refusing to satisfy unimportant or unhealthy desires.
2. Doing things that are useful, but which you resist doing.

By overcoming inner resistance you develop inner power and strength.

By refusing and rejecting useless, harmful or unnecessary desires and actions, and sometimes intentionally acting contrary to your habits, you sharpen and strengthen your inner strength. You get stronger through constant practice, just like exercising your muscles at a gym makes your muscles stronger. In both cases, when you need inner power or physical strength, they are available and are at your disposal.

Here are a few exercises to strengthen your inner powers that use ordinary day-to-day activities:

• Don't read the newspaper for a few days.
• Now and then drink your coffee or tea without sugar.
• Climb up the stairs instead of taking the lift.
• Park you car a little farther away from you destination, so that you have to walk.
• Now and then choose not to watch one of your favorite TV programs.
• Read a book that is useful and informative, but which you find boring.
• Curb your desire to criticize people.
• Delay your desire to retort angrily.
• Try to get out of bed quickly on a cold day.

These are only a few examples to show you how you can develop your inner strength. By practicing these or similar exercises you gain inner power, which you can use when you are in need of it. By practicing them you develop your inner muscles, just like lifting barbells develops your physical muscles.

By following a systematic method of training you gain control over yourself, your habits, your reactions and your life, and can more easily attain your dreams and goals.

Will Power and Self Discipline

The possession of willpower and self discipline or their lack, play an important role in everyone's life. For example, you wish to go for a walk, knowing how good it is for your health and how wonderful you feel afterwards, but you feel too lazy, and prefer to watch TV instead. You might be aware of the fact that you need to change your eating habits or stop smoking, but you don't have the inner power and persistence to change these habits.

Does this sound familiar? How many times have you said, "I wish I had will power and self discipline"? How many times have you started to do something, only to quit after a short while? We all have had experiences like these.

Everyone has a few habits they wish they could get rid of, such as smoking, excessive eating, laziness, procrastination or lack of assertiveness. To overcome these habits or addictions, one needs a certain degree of willpower and self discipline. Their possession makes a great difference in everyone's life, bringing to the fore inner strength, self mastery and decisiveness.

Definitions of Will Power and Self Discipline

Will power is the ability to overcome laziness and procrastination. It is the ability to control or reject unnecessary or harmful impulses. It is the ability to arrive at a decision and follow it with perseverance until its successful accomplishment. It is the inner power that overcomes the desire to indulge in unnecessary and useless habits, and the inner strength that overcomes inner emotional and mental resistance for taking action. It is one of the corner stones of success, both spiritual and material.

Self-discipline is the companion of will power. It endows the one possessing it with the stamina to persevere in whatever he or she does. It bestows the ability to withstand hardships and difficulties, whether physical, emotional or mental. It grants the ability to reject immediate satisfaction, in order to gain something better, but, which requires effort and time.

Everyone has inner, unconscious, or partly conscious impulses, making them say or do things they later regret saying or doing. On many occasions people do not think before they talk or act. By developing these two powers, one becomes conscious of the inner, subconscious impulses, and gains the ability to reject them when they are not for his/her own good.

These two powers help us to choose our behavior and reactions, instead of being ruled by them. Their possession won't make life dull or boring. On the contrary, you will feel more powerful, in charge of yourself and your surroundings, happy and satisfied.

How many times have you felt too weak, lazy or shy to do something you wanted to do? You can gain inner strength, initiative and the ability to make decisions and follow them. Believe me, it is not difficult to develop these two powers. If you are earnest and are willing to become stronger, you will certainly succeed.
In this article, you will find some exercises and techniques for developing these abilities. These simple, but effective exercises, can be performed everywhere and at any time. Go slowly and gradually, and you will see how you get stronger and your life start improving.

There is a misconception in the public mind regarding will power. It is erroneously thought to be something strenuous and difficult, and that one has to exert and tense the body and mind when expressing it. It is a completely wrong concept. This is one of the reasons why people avoid using it, though they are conscious of its benefits. They acknowledge the fact that the employment of will power in their life and affairs will greatly help them, and that they need to strengthen it, yet they do nothing about it.

Will power gets stronger by holding back and not allowing the expression of unimportant, unnecessary and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. If this saved energy is not allowed expression, it is stored inside you like a battery, and it becomes available at the time of need. By practicing appropriate exercises, you develop your powers the same way, as a person who trains his/her muscles in order to strengthen them.

Developing Will Power and Self Discipline

An effective method for improving these abilities is the performance of certain actions or activities, which you would rather avoid doing, due to laziness, procrastination, weakness, shyness, etc. By doing things that you usually do not like to do, or feel too lazy to do, you overcome your subconscious resistance, and train your mind to obey you. As muscles get stronger by resisting the weight of barbells, so inner strength is attained by overcoming inner resistance.

Here are a few exercises:

1) You are sitting in a bus or train and an old man or woman, or a pregnant lady walks in. Stand up and give up your seat, even if you prefer to stay seated. Act so, not just because it is polite, but because you are doing something that you are reluctant to do. This is an exercise in overcoming the resistance of your body, mind and feelings.

2) There are dishes in the sink that need washing, and you postpone washing them for later. Get up and wash them now. Do not let your laziness overcome you. When you know that in this way you are developing your will power, and if you are convinced of the importance of will power in your life, it will be easier for you to do whatever you have to do.

3) You come home tired from work and sit in front of the T.V., because you feel too lazy and too tired to take a shower first. Do not succumb to the desire to sit in front of the T.V, and go and take a shower.

4) Do you like your coffee with sugar? If you do, then for one whole week drink it without sugar. Do you drink three cups of coffee each day? If you do, then drink only two cups a day for one whole week.

5) Don't read some unimportant gossip in the newspaper, even if you want to.
Don't say that you cannot practice the above exercises, because you certainly can. Motivate yourself, by thinking about of their importance, and about the inner power and strength that you will gain. Remember, the purpose of the exercises is to develop inner strength, not making life difficult for you.

These are just a few, simple exercises, however, they can be a start in the right direction. You can find many exercises, guidance and practical information in the book Willpower and Self Discipline, mentioned at the bottom of this page.

If you practice weight lifting, running or aerobics, you strengthen your muscles, so that when you need to move or carry something heavy, for example, you have the strength for it. By studying French each day, you will be able to speak French when you travel to France. It is the same with will power and self-discipline; by strengthening them, they become available for your use, whenever you need them.

Benefits of Possessing Will Power and Self Discipline

You need these skills to control your thoughts, improve your concentration, and to become the boss of your mind. The stronger these skills are, the more inner strength you possess.
Being the master of your mind you enjoy inner peace and happiness. External events do not sway you, and circumstances have no power over your peace of mind. This might sound too unreal for you, but experience will prove to you that all the above is true.
These skills are vital for achieving success. They give you more control over your life, help you change and improve habits, and are essential for self improvement, spiritual growth and meditation.
Practice the exercises presented here earnestly and persistently, and your life will start changing.

Now is the time to develop willpower and self discipline!

If you want to have more self control, overcome laziness and procrastination, and become more decisive and assertive, you need to read the book "Willpower and Self Discipline".

This book will give you all the guidance and exercises you need for developing willpower and self discipline.

Order and download the book now, and you can start reading it within minutes!

The Book Emotional Detachment For a Better Life

Imagine how free, relieved and happy you would be, if you could stay calm and poised in the midst of whatever is happening in your life. Think how much physical, emotional, and mental energy you could spare, if you could avoid becoming upset, angry or moody.

Learn how emotional detachment can help you maintain a state of calmness, self-control and psychic integrity in your everyday life!

Emotional Detachment For a Better Life

By Remez Sasson

Do you take everything too personally?

Do your moods go up and down often?

Can an insignificant incident destroy your whole day?

Are you easily affected by what people say or think about you?

Do you allow situations and people to affect your moods and behavior?

Do you lack inner peace?

The good news is that you can change this situation with emotional detachment!

Emotional detachment is useful at home and at work, in your relationships with your family, relatives, friends and co-workers, and with everyone else.

Lack of emotional detachment leads to attachment, to fear of letting go,
and to avoiding changes. You need some degree of emotional detachment,
if you wish to feel free, and to improve the quality of your life. Otherwise,
people and events, your memories, thoughts, and past, will tie you down.

Emotional agitation, anger, and hurt feelings, cause stress and unhappiness, and lead nowhere, except to more pain, suffering, and broken relationships. They disturb your mind, disrupt your concentration, and prevent you from focusing on the matters at hand. If you wish to enjoy inner peace, it is imperative that you try to gain at least some degree of emotional detachment.

Too much emotional involvement with matters that do not concern you, or are not important, take too much of your time, energy and health. Excessive emotional involvement agitates your mind and feelings, and obstructs inner peace, common sense, and right judgement.

Emotional detachment would not necessarily make your life problems-free. You will still encounter disturbing circumstances and disturbing people, because this is part of life, however, your attitude toward them, your state of mind, and the way you react, would change.

Detachment, as taught in this book, does not make you want to avoid
meeting people or experiencing feelings. You can interact with other people,
show warmth, compassion and love, and yet, maintain a state of equanimity,
calmness, and inner stregth.

• Emotional detachment produces a state of inner peace and equanimity, which is unaffected by external circumstances, nor by people's moods or states of mind.
• Emotional detachment is essential for every person who wishes to become free from worries, fears and anxiety.
• A state of emotional detachment is most useful in many situations, when dealing with family or friends, or at your job.
• True detachment is an inner attitude, which allows you to interact with other people, show warmth, compassion and love, and yet, maintain a state of composure and equanimity.
• Emotional detachment can help you maintain a state of calmness, self-control and psychic integrity, when handling your daily affairs of life and in your interactions with people.
• Learn how to avoid dwelling on distressing or unpleasant events from your past, and reliving them in your mind over and again.
• Learn how to avoid becoming agitated by what people say or do, and by circumstances and events.
• Find out how to remain calm and unaffected in the company of people, who burden you with their worries and problems, or hurt your feelings.
• Discover how to remain calm and balanced, and use judgement and common sense in pressing and difficult situations.

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Emotional detachment is a skill, which you can learn like any other skill, and is vital for every person, everywhere, and in all walks of life. It is the antidote to constant thinking about the past, worrying about the future, dwelling on what this or that person said, and taking everything too personally.

Emotional detachment, as taught in this book, has nothing to do with avoiding people or feelings. It is an inner attitude, which enables you to maintain a state of composure and equanimity, and at the same time interact with other people, show warmth, compassion and love.

Well-developed emotional detachment produces a state of inner peace
and equanimity, undisturbed by circumstances or other people's moods
and states of mind, just like a calm lake that is undisturbed by winds
or waves.

• One of the important characteristics of emotional detachment is the ability to avoid getting involved with unnecessary or unhealthy emotions and reactions.
  
• It helps you avoid becoming upset by what people say or do, or by their emotions, reactions or behavior.
  
• Emotional detachment protects you from being upset by external conditions or situations. It does not necessarily change your circumstances, but it allows you to act and react calmly and with common sense, without emotional agitation, which often clouds the judgment and wastes unnecessary emotional and physical energy.
  
• With this ability, you can keep away thoughts about distressing or unpleasant events from your past, and avoid reliving them in your mind over and again. This ability will also help you stay away from worries about current problems, and from worries about the future.
  
• Emotional detachment can be applied in your relationships with strangers, and also in your relationships with people you know, with family, relatives, co-workers or friends, and with anyone else. It protects you from being manipulated, disturbed, or hurt by emotionally demanding, manipulative or negative people.
  
• A state of emotional detachment is most useful in many situations, such as when a driver behind you keeps honking, even when you cannot drive faster or let him pass. It is useful when dealing with family or friends, who try to manipulate you through guilty conscience, making you do things that you don't want to do. It also helps you stay calm and unaffected, when in the company of people, who intentionally or unintentionally burden you with their worries and problems, or hurt your feelings.
  
• This skill can also help you at your job. If your boss, colleagues or customers demand too much of you, or are harsh on you, you will be able to remain calm, undisturbed and fearless.

This book was written in the form of a conversation between a teacher and a pupil, which made it possible to ask questions the reader might ask, and answer them in a simple and easy to understand language. This format makes it possible to clarify, guide and instruct the subject in a more personal way, as if the reader is actually in the presence of a teacher.

Remez Sasson, the author of the book, teaches and writes about self-improvement, positive thinking, creative visualization, inner peace, spiritual growth and meditation. He has been studying and practicing these subjects for many years, and therefore, speaks and writes from personal experience. You can read many of his articles at this website and at many other websites. Remez Sasson is also the author of the books "Peace of Mind in Daily Life", "Will Power and Self Discipline", "Visualize and Achieve" and "Affirmations Words of Power, available at this website.

True detachment brings into one's life inner strength,
self-discipline, open-mindedness, common sense, better comprehension,
and the ability to see the pros and cons of every situation. It also
guards you from being adversely affected by the moods, and negative
thoughts and emotions of other people.
Adopting a detached attitude enables you to exercise your best
judgment, handle efficiently every situation, and become a tower of
strength for others in times of need and difficulties.
By refusing to open yourself to emotional turmoil that does not
concern you, you protect your physical, emotional and mental being
from becoming drained out and from exhaustion.

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